Running Away

One day when I was a little girl, I got mad at my mother and threatened to run away from home. I ran out of the house and started walking towards Libertad Street but not finding a place to stay, I hid among the bushes in the field in front of the house. A few minutes later I waited for my family to look for me. They did not, so I started inching closer and hid among the bushes closer to the house. Hours later, my family, especially my mother did not look for me, so I went to the garden by the side of the house where I stayed until dusk. Tired and hungry, I finally came in to the house. I told my family, especially my mother that they were no good for letting me run away and not looking for me. My mother told me that they did not have to look for me because they knew where I was all the time! Pffft!

Drawing with magnifying glass.

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A Child's Life At Movie Snap At Libertad Baybay

Movie Snap At Libertad Baybay. Pen and ink work in progress on 17"x14" Paris paper.

In the foreground, four little girls wearing dark dresses play "Bagul" a motor coordination game using "tsinelas" or rubber slippers as props. Such was life at Movie Snap At Libertad Baybay in the 1960's. It is incredible what memories are stirred with this drawing. My Facebook friends, most of whom are friends from my childhood are reminiscing and recalling details of games and scenes. What wonderful memories. The above scene was especially requested by my sister Lynette, now a doctor and her childhood friend, playmate and classmate Marsette, now a school district superintendent.

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Start Anew

I spent a lot of time on the drawing on the left but every time I worked on it, I kept thinking that it isn't just right. Yet I kept on going because I have fallen in love with the house. It is the focal point of the entire illustration. Yesterday evening, I finally decided to start a new illustration. I used the drawing on the left to guide me through the  new drawing. Then something strange happened. I kept going back to the old drawing and worked on it simultaneously.

When do you decide to abandon or set aside something on which you have invested, spent a lot of time and energy and at one point love? When your heart in not in it and the joy has dissipated.  Do not be afraid to move on and start anew. This could be just about anything; a project, job, task,  relationship, marriage, trip, planned vacation...etc. One thing you have to remember though is that this decision may be temporary or permanent. A drawing, for example is something to which you can return, but in a relationship that may not be possible. So, prioritize and think it through. If it is a drawing, it's simple. Relationships may need more pondering but do not brood, go on!

Relationships, marriages or friendships are not like drawings. When you decide to end them, you have to be prepared to accept the fact that you may never be able to go back. For years, my friend's in-laws have worked together everyday. The couple have been married for over forty years. He was a physician and she managed his clinic. When he retired at age 75, his wife divorced him. Everyone was shocked, including her husband. I was not. Perhaps she stayed on to help him and when she no longer felt that he did not need her, she was free to go. My friend said that their marriage was more than that. I replied that perhaps it may have looked that way but the husband may have taken things for granted and thought that his wife will always be there. I, on the other hand, thought that perhaps his wife wanted to leave a long time ago but felt compelled to stay out of duty. Now the husband is lonely and the wife hates and despises him. I told my friend that perhaps if she left sooner, the hatred may have not brewed and early liberation may have set them both free, but she was duty-bound. Now that the children are adults and successful she was free to go. More likely, love left first or perhaps love was never there. It was an arranged marriage. 

Life is so precious to waste.

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Retro Games - Kick

Kick!  Kick expert Oceidia Rocali who at age eight, avenged a bully's attack on her brother by hacking with a machete, the bamboo ladder leading up to the front door of the bully's house when the bully ran home to hide after hitting Oceidia's brother on the head. Kick is a game played by Oceidia Rocali with her brothers, sisters and friends when they were little children. It involves kicking a coin wrapped in paper or plastic and tied with a rubber band, to resemble a shuttlecock. It is played between two partners or among several players in a group. Sometimes, a rooster feather is used to adorn it, making it more aerodynamic. The goal is to prevent getting hit by the coin-shuttlecock on the upper parts of the body and allowing it to drop to the ground without attempting to kick it back to another player. Only the foot is used to kick the shuttlecock. The hand is used only in the beginning to launch the coin-shuttlecock. Oceidia Rocali's older sisters and much older brother restrained her before she could successfully hack the ladder to pieces. The bully never hit her brother again. 

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Voyage

Voyage. Journey. In progress. Do not let the checkered path stop or hinder you. Turn every adventure to a memorable adornment in your glorious and productive life. Let every block be a memory filled with gratitude and celebration. There is a time for sorrow and a time for joy. Let love soothe the former and multiply the latter.

Where are you going? Are you in a place where you thought you would be? When you started your voyage, did you know where you wanted to go? Do you like or accept the place where you are now? Why? Why not?

So many questions.

When I think of the present, I think of where I started and where I have been. I don’t know about you, but sometimes when I think this way, there are songs that play in my head, like Gordon Lightfoot’s “Beautiful” or Frank Sinatra singing "What Are You Doing For The Rest Of Your Life." Then in my mind there is a parade of people's faces to whom the songs apply. My heart softens and my mind recoils in tenderness.

My dearest mother and father come to mind everyday. Everyday to them, I offer my devotion and gratitude and to my sister Leah whose beautiful and exemplary life was cut short a few years ago but continues to inspire me everyday to do my best and make me check myself to be steadfast, brave, just and kind when the competition and struggle heat up. 

Mother's Day.

On Mother's Day, do not celebrate because you are a mother, instead give your children a reason to celebrate because they have a good mother. My mother is the reason why I celebrate this day. She was a most wonderful mother, the best God gave me and my brothers and sisters. She loved my father very much and he loved her the same if not more. My heart is filled with gratitude. 

I am happy.

Sometimes I have tears in my eyes because I am happy. I am happy because I love those I love and am loved by those who love me. I believe in angels. Some are living angels. I am surrounded by good people, gifted with a best friend and showered with gentle and kind acquaintances.

Unaffordable Care Act. On the left, top figure is my bi-weekly payment for my family's health and dental insurance. The bottom figure is the total cost. My mouth hurts. It is very painful. I had oral surgery, then a dental procedure. The other day, while I was brushing the unaffected area, I forgot about my surgery and accidentally ran my electric toothbrush on the surgical area. I cried and knelt in pain. I have six stitches in my mouth. My dentist is excellent, my teeth not so much, they are weak but throughout the years, she has done her best to give me a beautiful smile. Thank you.

I miss eating regular foods, especially salads. I am hoping I will lose weight but that would be a fat chance!

I attended memorial service for a friend who died last week. She was the executive who hired me as the first nurse in information systems department when we started our electronic medical record in 1992. I am grateful that our paths crossed. I also heard the devastating news that another friend of mine died suddenly last January. That's all I heard. For 5 years Heather and I spent every summer afternoon teaching our kids to swim and watching them grow up together. She was only 46. Rest in peace, my friend.

My children do not realize what and how much they do and achieve throughout their lives since birth, no matter how ordinary it may seem to them,  affect me tremendously. I am their ardent and ever faithful supporter and cheerleader. I also happen to be quick, loud and blunt when I know something will end up in pain. As they get older the latter becomes less effective. They are both headstrong and eloquent with their arguments and want to make their own way. I cried with joy when they walked and ran as babies before age one, when they started talking and enunciating and articulating words so early and clearly, how precocious they were, when they left home on their first day of school, when they graduated from pre-school and kindergarten. I was so relieved when my son graduated from high school after going through such challenging teenage years, that was an adventure, and sad that he did not want to attend the ceremony. He has matured and does his best to make me happy. I am so proud of him. His sister does not want to make a big deal with her graduation either. I had to demand that she purchase the announcements. She complained about the costs. She said that everyone who matters already know so there is no point in sending them an announcement. I am being selfish, I do not want to be deprived of this parental privilege again. She relented. 

The other night when my daughter came out of her bedroom in her prom gown she was so radiant and beautiful. I wanted to cry and I felt a pang of sadness that she and her brother grew up far away from my sisters and brothers, not knowing their Lolo and Lola well. Soon she will graduate from high school, with honors. She asked for $10.00 to pay for the stole and cord that will identify her as a member of the National Honor Society. She has brought so much honor to her school through Science Fair, University Interscholastic League competitions in Choir, Drama and especially in Journalism. I am so happy for and so proud of her. Everyday I have the best Mother's Day presents with me. 

I always expected my children to do well in school. I was not the most diligent student when I was young. I always did the minimum to be on the top 10. Watching my daughter's self drive and desire for excellence taught me a lot about her. I am in awe at her constancy and maturity. Once I helped her with a math homework when she was in grade school, she received the lowest score she has ever received in her schooling. She asked me never to help her with a math homework again. School is very competitive. The differences among the top 1% is a matter of a hundredth of points. It is a good thing the girls are all friends. 

I thank God for giving me good children, a most loving husband, a good family through birth and marriage, for surrounding me with good people at work and friends who are kind. My throat and my surgical site in my mouth hurt like hell from crying. I am so happy. I love my family and friends. I love being a mother and wife. Most of all I love my mother so much and I am forever grateful.

God is good. Thank you.

However, college expenses are going to make me impecunious.

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My Mother

When I read these verses, I think of my mother the way she was to my father, to my brothers and sisters and me, to her friends and our neighbors; the way she led her life, and how she taught us. Her strong faith led us through so many difficult times and lifted us with hope and gratitude. She remains a blessing me today and forever. The things I do, I do well to continue to honor her and my father. Happy Mother's Day to all the good mothers. 

Proverbs 31:10-31

New International Version (NIV)

Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character

10 [a]A wife of noble character who can find?
    She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
    and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
    all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
    and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
    bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
    she provides food for her family
    and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
    out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
    her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
    and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
    and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
    and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
    for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
    she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
    where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
    and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
    she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
    and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
    but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
    and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Footnotes:

1. Proverbs 31:10 Verses 10-31 are an acrostic poem, the verses of which begin with the successive letters of the Hebrew alphabet.

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Free

Listening to the news yesterday, I just heard a commentary about artistic people in Hollywood:
"They are detached from reality and are juvenile. They create their own world." 

Free. 17"x14" on pen and ink on Paris paper.

I am having an absolutely fun and very pleasant time drawing these little characters which I adapted from Bella Sinclair's style after I saw her illustration which has now become my latest favorite. No wonder Bella always seem so happy and positive and her drawings exude mirth because there is something that evokes the joyful senses when I draw these little darlings. Granted, unlike Bella's illustrations, I toss and plunge these little creatures into and within threatening and unpleasant environments. I mentally infuse each tiny creature with personality and I root for them to survive those who want to harm them like some other little evil creatures that look like them too. Demons walk the earth with us, do you know that? That is why it is always good to have your angels. Such is life, you don't know who Satan pretends to be. I hope Bella forgives me for exposing these little creatures to danger and negative situations, but I am rooting for every little good freedom and liberty loving creature. Some details below.

Okay, my Apple Macbook randomly shuts down. Looks like the battery, which was replaced by a new one last year.  Oh, one more thing before I go. The Constitution is an awesome document that was written as the foundation for our republic. It is not some malleable document which liberals and progressives can interpret and change according to their whims. It was cleverly designed to thwart tyrants and prevent tyranny. That is why many liberals complain about it, even the current president once mentioned that it gets on his way. Think about that. 

Have a great week!

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Vanity

I don't know anybody named Vanity, do you? I know a couple of girls whose mothers named them Placenta and Vagina but not Vanity. Yes, some mothers are stupid.

Below are images I incorporated on my recent drawing which I finished today. These are symbols of vanity and I wanted to post them for Illustration Friday but I did not meet the deadline. The images include Putto and wasted time, ostentatious display of jewelry, skull, blowing bubbles, Satan holding the mirror of vanity, bird skeleton and the Whore of Babylon. It was interesting reading about the symbols of vanity.

Yesterday, there was not much left to do with the illustration. In fact, I enhanced some of the details just to extend its drawing life because I need to be able to do something next week while sitting in the waiting room for some scheduled procedures. I realize I needed to start a new drawing soon. Anyhow, here is Vanity. 

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Tamarins

It's terrible how some ignorant, stupid and greedy humans treat wild animals mostly endangered and rare as resources for consumption and meet their insane desire to collect  rare animals. They do not mind if the animal species reach extinction. They poach rhinos for Chinese traditional medicine; steal tamarins from zoos and sanctuaries; they massacre entire communities of flying lizards in Davao and skewer and roast them to sell for pagan Filipino tribal medicine; they allow Chinese smugglers to invade their provinces so they can kill pangolins in Palawan, again, for Chinese traditional medicine. Lord knows what they will do with the stolen tamarins  in today's news. These two species of animals stolen from a London zoo surprised me because last week I was looking for bearded animals to incorporate in my drawings. I chanced upon the mustachioed and bearded emperor tamarins and the beard-less but hairy cotton-top. On the left is a Cotton-top tamarin. with her two babies. In the middle are  Emperor tamarins.  Cotton top monkeys are extremely sensitive to changes in their environment so these animals must be frightened from the ordeal. I can only think that these thieves and their recipients have no regard for humanity.

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Revenge

Remember when a presidential candidate asked you to vote for revenge? 

Did you? 

Are you feeling the revenge?

Alphabet Soup of Failure. Pen and Ink on 17"x14" Paris Paper

Unprecedented Concoction of Corruption, Distrust, Ineptness, Incompetence, Lies, Falsehoods, Coverups, Spying, Overreach, Political Correctness, Abuse of Power and Disregard for the People.

And here is my revenge: Life, Faith, Love, Liberty, Drawing. This is the Liars, Fabulists and Prevaricators Series. One does not have far to look for inspiration - here's what inspires me and how. These are pen and ink drawings on 17"x14" Paris paper:

  

Now listening to Doris Day and soon Ella Fitzgerald. 

Have you heard of Tuva and their throat singers? I love Huun Hurr Tu.

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An Ordinary Day

How often does this happen to you? You are doing something and then you are gripped with a sensation so strong that it overwhelms and overcomes you. Nothing is amiss; nothing is bad or wrong nor great or exciting.  You are doing something ordinary on an ordinary day. Yet, you are filled with that sensation both mental and physical. Is it delight, joy, happiness, gratitude, perhaps a feeling of being blessed because you are alive and you are here and cooking? Yes, cooking! Imagine that. What is so great about cooking or doing laundry, changing sheets, dusting, working at your desk, writing rules, drawing, painting, being with your husband, laughing with your children… everyday events? Maybe it is just me. But my day is punctuated by those moments just because I am alive and here.

I am still amazed by ordinary things. Others tease or taunt me by saying I am easy to please. On the contrary, I am not. I just think and feel differently about certain things, like the glide of a pen when it reaches that stage where it flows with the same sensation when I sometimes use charcoal or graphite. It reverberates into my arm. I can feel every point and every line of ink it creates. It is sensuous. It hits my guts and I am afraid to breathe because it might alter the rhythm and then I stop and gasp. I am so happy and grateful that I love what I do and I think about how I got into this state. I thank those who made it possible for me to feel and think without restraint; guided not by onerous tyrannical man-made laws but by the laws of sensibilities and of human dignity. So I thank my parents for guiding me to a place called here and now and for reminding me to never forget that I am free. I thank those who gave the ultimate sacrifice to preserve my freedom and liberty. Yes, liberty, freedom from arbitrary or despotic government control,  which is why I get intense and tense when those who are in a position of power think and act as if they are better or know better than everybody else then legislate moronic rules, regulations and laws.

Yes, it is an ordinary day. Thank God.

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